Obama To Release Sex Tape
Posted by Harvey at 10:08 AM
WASHINGTON (AP) - With Paris Hilton now leading Barack Obama in the polls after releasing her first campaign ad, the Obama campaign has decided to boost his celebrity status by "leaking" a series of sex tapes featuring Barack and Michelle.

"Feel the change?"
"Hilton is a badly-aging, horse-faced, empty-skirt, spoiled-rotten, rich-bitch celebrity with no discernable singing, acting, or modeling talent," said Obama campaign spokesman Bill Burton, "yet she's now crushing Obama in the polls within 24 hours of throwing her hat - or in this case, her chihuahua - into the ring. Although this technically gives her both more political AND foreign policy experience than Obama, we suspect the true cause of these discomforting numbers is that Ms. Hilton has a sex tape, while Mr. Obama does not."

To ensure that Obama regains his position as "biggest celebrity in the world", staffers have been taping Barack & Michelle's nocturnal romps, and plan to release clips anonymously to the internet throughout the fall campaign at the rate of about one a week. Videos expected to be released this month include "YES! YES! YES WE CAN!", "Inflating the Tire, and "A Little Offshore Drilling".

"Unlike the Hilton tape," said Burton, "these won't be grainy, badly-audioed, night-vision images. We've spent over $30 million on post-production - written off as a 'campaign expense', of course - to make these movies HD quality. You'll be able to actually count the hairs growing out of the mole on Michelle's... well, you'll be able to count them."

Many campaign contributors who got wind of the planned video releases were angered by their high cost. "We had to explain that we needed to hire Pixar to, uh, enhance some of Barack's shortcomings as an actor in these films," Burton said. "Yeah, he's half black, but unfortunately it's the top half, if you know what I mean."


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Just in case you don't get it, it is a joke, not real.

And not really a joke either, at least not a good one. I kept thinking "yuck!" It made me think that McCain would be next and the thought was quite repugnant!