I am now a follower of Supply-Side Jesus, and I think corporations should rule us, because He wants it that way.

It took me some time to figure it out, but I have seen the light: When we are told Jesus spent time among the lepers and prostitutes, the Supply-Side Gospel is actually referring to corporate executives.

This would also pave the way for an entirely new section of the Bible, dedicated to Oral Roberts. After all, Saul of Tarsus only heard a disembodied voice of Jesus--Oral Roberts actually saw Him, in a manifestation 900 feet tall! Surely that beats a disembodied voice.

I propose this new section be called the "Acts of Oral," or if you prefer (New Supply-Side translation) "The Book of Oral Acts."

Anyone who does not believe this clear and unequivocal sign from God Almighty does not understand the true meaning of the Gospels and is going to hell. Hey, I don't make the rules.

I had heard of the followers of this dogma before. I think they belong to Oral Sects. But, I'm not sure, so I'm waiting for the truth to come from ikayak.

I see what you did just then.

Okee dokee.

LOL!

No problem.
The truth:





"(AP) Evangelist Oral Roberts told television interviewer Phil Donahue Thursday that Roberts' much-publicized vision of a 900-foot-tall Jesus was seen by "my inner eyes, not my physical eyes."

It was Roberts' first statement indicating a vision he recounted in a fund-raising letter last year was not of a physical manifestation."

http://newsok.com/article/1982818#ixzz0dSgrbjdt



According to Luke, after Saul (unconverted) became Paul (converted) Jesus appeared to him in a prison cell:




Luke uses the same word (ephistemi) to record the appearance of the angels to the women at Christ's empty tomb:

You have obviously never received Oral Sects, nor do you understand the Oral Acts.

People in your predicament often become irritable and humorless as the foul seed of nonbelief backs up into their brains.

As a legally ordained Minister, I suggest you get a grip on yourself. After all, Supply-Side Jesus says "come unto me."

The Truth, then according to ikayak, is that the Oral Sects have merit and the Oral Acts should be proffered far and wide?

Then, to whom should the Oral Sects be taught and from whom should we come to receive the Oral Acts?

This is the best stuff I remember reading in the religion thread. I'd like to learn more about the the theology and the Oral Acts of the Oral Sects.

Very creative guys.

And Beav you have the same standing to begin a sect as anyone else. I hope you make lots of money from your acolytes.

Did I say that?
No. Comprehension is key.
Oral Roberts is a false teacher, not to mention liar.
He at first claimed that he had come face to face with Jesus,
then recanted and said only in his mind's eye.
If you want to dedicate something to a liar, knock yourself out.

I'm guessing it's Calvanism, which permeates all of us from the Protetant North, which dissuades most folks from the ultimate truth of the Oral Acts and their manifestations in the Oral Sects.

I did fail the comprehension test on this one. I thought your verses showed that one could have a vision "with the inner eye" and that he may have actually had one... meaning, he was misunderstood when it was inferred it was with the physical eye.

My bad. So, the Oral Acts of the Oral Sects, bad. I understand. I am clear on the truth according to ikayak. So, those who veer off the the right path towards the Oral Acts will have to have a firm hand guide them up towards the peaks of knowlege and away from the Oral Sects.

I'm sure glad I think it's all hooey.

Peter disowned Jesus three times and let him be killed.

You don't have a problem with Peter.

Or maybe it's a Peter problem that's got you so bound up.

1) Peter didn't "let Him be killed."

Jesus let Himself be killed.

Jhn 10:17 Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again.

Jhn 10:18 No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.

2) No, I don't have a problem with Peter. One reason: he wasn't using Jesus to scam money from people.

What did Peter do to try and stop it?



Unlike every other Christian minister, reverend, or "prophet" who has ever lived?

I think you have a definite Peter problem.

But it could be worse--we could be discussing the Analects of Confucius.

Though it was folly, he drew his sword and cut off Malchus's ear. God the Father and God the Son had made a covenant, and there was nothing and no one going to stop it from being fulfilled.



My my, cynical cynical.
Some, but not nearly "every other."
Let's see...any mention of the Prophet John receiving money for his preaching and baptizing? Nope.

I have always attended small churches, the pastors have lived a very modest lifestyle.
There is no formal offering taken at my current church, and the pastor gives back over one tenth of his salary to the church.



mmmm...nope. The Lord didn't seem to have a problem with him, He restored and baptized Peter with the Spirit's fire...gave him the power to heal the sick with just his shadow, the power the cast out demons, power to make the lame to walk, and raise the dead...so why should I have a problem with Peter?

A snake oil salesman who offers discounts? Very nice.

Denigrating a man you don't even know.
Very nice indeed.

lmao

How many *ahem* interesting things have you said about Muslims that you don't even know?

You denigrated a man as a "snake oil salesman" who has an extremely kind, compassionate, giving, servant heart; who devotes and donates considerable time befriending and serving Grays Harbor's poor and homeless.

Donates? Then he works for free?

You know, if I could convince a bunch of gullible people to pay all of my bills, I'd probably seem like I had "an extremely kind, compassionate, giving, servant heart" too.

Unfortunately I don't know that many rubes.

No monetary compensation for serving the county's poor and homeless outside of the church.

Btw, no one forces people to attend the church he leads.
And any offerings are put into a lobby box.
No monetary offering is ever solicited.

Well, it's true that the Apostle Oral had gangs of men with machine guns rounding up people for his congregation. Oh, wait, uh...no he didn't.

What, you don't know any Obama voters?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHH

I see what you did there.