Well...at least your mom remembers what she's being stubborn about. It's all just really sad.

Yeah...even without the Alzheimer's it often can be like living in a twilight zone. I can only imagine the stress with added Alzheimer's. Again, my condolences. And remember to take care of yourself while taking care of her. Sometimes we caregivers forget about that important aspect, especially when their health situation deteriorates.

Hey! I say tell both of them they went to lunch and save the money!

We joke instead of shedding tears. My Grandmother is getting there... or arrived a long time ago. We tease about pretending to have birthday parties and telling her what we got her. She was fishing in the Trout Unlimited Tank the other day. Everytime she caught a fish, it was like the first time. When she was asked if she wanted to go in, she said, "After I get a chance to fish." She had already caught a bunch.

I wish your grandma was my mom, Stash. My mom is pleasant to everybody but her family. At the beginning, there were some things to laugh at but, as things have progressed, those instances are farther and fewer between. When someone is chronically angry and paranoid, and unable to handle her own business herself but fights everybody who tries to help her with it...well, believe me, there are no longer any warm, fuzzy memories being formed. It's the most stressful thing I've ever dealt with.

... instead of shedding tears.

We're not always successful. My heart...

Well, not at America's Diner. My mom went there last week and didn't like it at all. Now she's fretting about finding an alternative place to eat lunch as she already has issues with just about every other restaurant in town. Issues that have nothing to do with discriminating test buds. Oy veh!

Not good. Unfortunately, I don't have any suggestions for you.

Oh, today was typical. My sister, her husband, and grand-daughter (age 4) came to town to visit. My mom wanted to take us all to lunch and, after a lot of discussion, we decided on Lana's.

My mom said there was nothing on the menu she likes. I pointed out that they had her favorite chicken-friend steak. No go. Then I went through all the different sandwiches, both hot and cold; hamburgers, soups, salads, seafood baskets, etc. and she said that there was nothing on there that she likes. (There's plenty she used to like.)

Then she wanted to see their dessert menu and just have pie. Big surprise. We told her that she couldn't have dessert until she ate some real food. (She is steadily losing weight and really needs some good food in her so she doesn't disappear.)

She settled on clam chowder, and then complained about it. Also didn't like the coffee. First it was too cold, then too hot, then she thought there was something wrong with the milk for her coffee. And the crackers were stale. Oh, didn't like the bowl the soup came in or the roll, either.

I told her that if she's going to be crabby when we all go out to lunch that we'll just take her credit card and buy ourselves lunch and leave her at home. Hug, hug, wink, chuckle, just kidding. She wouldn't even look at me for the rest of the lunch.

Then she complained about the total bill so we offered to pay for our own meals. She wouldn't let us but still complained the whole way home at the price. (And is $50 for 5 people all that horrible? Nope.)

She announced that she would never go there again. Well, she's already decided that she won't ever go to Humdinger, Grizzly Den, Oriole, Lighthouse, Duffy's, Anne Marie's, Savory Faire, Bee Hive, Alexander's Grill, Breakwater, any of the fast food places, and she doesn't really like Chinese or Mexican food (well, she used to but not anymore). She will only go to Billy's to have pie but won't eat any of their food. And hates Bridge's because she thinks it's always too cold in there.

Yet she always wants to go out to lunch. Help! Running out of options.

The only place she seems to like, now that Denny's is gone, is Bennett's but it's a long drive to Grayland for lunch.

Anyway, that is a typical outing these days. She didn't pay one bit of attention to any of our conversations or to her great-grandchild. Just complained about everything. Sad, really, just sad.

There comes a point when pie might just have to be okay. With time, the taste buds change or go out just like everything else. The one taste that seems to hang on the longest is sweets. You might want to keep graham crackers or cookies handy. Any other sweets that she might eat. You might try to get her to drink some Ensure if you can. I don't know about the restaurants, but maybe you can get her to eat more at home.

Whenever my wife's grandfather would sit at the table, my MIL would just put stuff in front of him, and he would eat it not realizing that he was snacking. Graham crackers, bite size chocolate bars (unwrapped), cookies, apples (cut), oranges (peeled and divided), etc. She would just put it on a plate.

Well, she needs nutrition. She already eats plenty of sweets. when I take her grocery shopping she wants to load up on ice cream bars, boxes of cookies/brownies/etc. That's all she would buy if she had her way. I actually don't understand the weight loss based on the amount of sweets she eats. I would gain weight eating like that. But she has had tests run and is as healthy as a horse. I don't get it.

She doesn't cook anymore...and shouldn't...so we buy lunch meats, fruit, cheese, lettuce, and frozen meals she can microwave. I do try to get her to buy the slightly more nutritious frozen meal choices (oxymoron, I know) but she is so cheap that she wants to buy the cheapest, crappy ones. Heck, she won't even buy good deli lunch meat but, rather, the pressed loaf crap. Yuck. The good meat is "too expensive".

She used to go to the senior center for lunch most days so she would have a good, balanced meal there but, since she lost her license, she hasn't gone unless I make a special effort to take her because now it's "too expensive" once you add in the Dial-A-Ride fee which would be $2 roundtrip.

This is a woman who doesn't even spend the interest her investments earn each year, much less dipping into principal. She can afford better food choices. But I'm sure this is part of the major paranoia she has developed.

She does have several clubs that she goes to where friends give her rides and they usually involve lunch so, hopefully, she is eating whatever they offer that might have some nutritional value. But I also wouldn't be surprised if she loads up on the desserts.

ETA: Once in awhile I take her part of our dinner if it's something that would heat well in the microwave but, quite often, she doesn't eat it. I'll find it in the fridge a week later. If she would actually eat it, I'd do it more often.

If she would only move to Channel Point...I know I would worry less. We're having a family intervention next month where we're going to try to get her to move there. I actually don't have any hope it will happen but, I suppose, it's worth a shot. She's very social and we know she'd be happier there but she doesn't want to leave her current comfort zone. I understand that but she really shouldn't be on her own anymore.

Good grief, I finally get all my kids out the door and then I have to be my mom's mom. Well, that's enough over-sharing for now. No need to respond but it's nice to have a little vent.